A handy guide for my judges this weekend...

Hey, so I signed up to compete this weekend, much against my better judgment.  I haven't done a comp since 2014 Regionals - partially because I have a neurological disorder that gets seriously fuckered fast in competition-like settings.  The last go-around was embarrassing and all socially awkward (hey, don't mind me, nine million times Games competitor Lucas Parker, I'm just going to twitch here in the bottom squat position on the floor in the middle of the athlete area whilst looking all forlorn and bizarre while you and the rest of you gods and goddesses of physical fitness go and warm up and how the fuck did I get in here anyways...).  It felt like it took the fun out of things for everyone involved.

To help reduce the risk of this happening, and to hopefully make all of you feel a little more comfortable with me in the event something happens (and it could), here is a handy guide to judging me.

What is this neurological disorder of which you speak?
I have something called generalized dystonia.  Dystonia is the third most common type of neurologically-based movement disorder after essential tremor and Parkinson's Disease.  Huntington's Disease and ALS round out our lovely list o' neurological tomfoolery.

While I am lucky that I spend a goodly portion of my life not symptomatic, when I am it can be all rather intense.  You see, the part of my brain that controls voluntary movement (the basal ganglia) doesn't quite work the way it should for me.  The medical community isn't sure exactly what is going on up in there but they're pretty sure it has something to do with dopamine receptors and tiny bits of microscopic damage.  This then sometimes causes messages to move a certain way to instead be interpreted horribly fucking wrong (like Babelfish online translator wrong) and then we devolve into some sort of rhythmic twisting and pulling forcing parts of me to go one way while other parts go decidedly another and none of it making a lot of sense.  It can effect one, some or many voluntary muscle groups.  For me, muscles from my face to my feet can get in on the action.  So, what does it look like?  Think of a zombie doing an interpretive dance variation of "I'm a little teapot" while laying on the floor.

Yes.  Now imagine me doing this in front of you in the middle of my wallballs

Sweet hell, woman!  What do I do if this happens?
Nothing.

Legit.

Do nothing.  Leave me completely alone.  If you touch me, attempt to move me, ask me a bunch of questions and expect me to answer, anything, you just will make it worse.  If I need something, I'll ask.  But I don't really like to talk unless I have to because talking is hard (if I tell my mouth to move, I risk that message to my muscles getting garbled and interpreted by my brain in a weird way).  So, just let me chill on the floor and keep other people from trying to touch or help me or get me water.  And for the love of god, don't call an ambulance.  I'm fine(ish).  Really.  My goal is to get as zen as possible to see if I can regain enough control to be able to complete the workout.  And I've even done reasonably okay in competitions while having a brain running decidedly sub-optimally.  

Uh, so is there anything we can do to keep this from happening?
Yep!  Some days I'm just symptomatic because I am.  But some days I'm fine until something happens to trigger symptoms.  And then I am unfine.  Basically, shit can break my brain.  What is this shit, you may ask?

Loud surprising noises
Horn honks, surprise shouting, beeping (fuck but I hate beeping), really loud motorcycles and bro-vehicles, etc.  I'm all good with ambient loudness but anything that startles or has certain rhythms can be really hard on my grey matter.  What this means for you is please don't shout right in my face.  Or come up behind me a shout "Leya!".  Or even come to my side and shout to grab my attention.  Or start off a race by shooting a start gun (it's happened) or an air horn (also happened).  And if there is someone clanging on a cow bell or toodling some sort of gawdawful excessively loud noisemaker in the crowd (every competition ever), I might ask you to confiscate it.

Noises I'm okay with:  crashing weights, loud and offensive music with lots of swearing in it, and loud swearing and counting and talking from people so long as I can see them and know they are about to go and be loud.

 Surprise touching
If I can't see it before it touches me, I will go down.  Spectacularly.  You may be thinking "who the hell is this person and why does she think I'm going to get all handsy with her."  It wasn't until I developed dystonia that I came to realize just how often we touch other people.  A hand on a shoulder, a tap on the back, accidentally bumping into someone in a crowd, a high five.  And we CrossFitters are touchier than most.  Please don't touch me unless I'm looking right at you and otherwise give me a good-sized bubble.

Touching I'm good with:  Can I see that hug coming?  If I can, we can totally hug that shit out.  Same goes for ass slapping, fist bumping or high fiving (even that awkward thing where you go for the high five and I fist bump and then you kind of weirdly cup my hand and then we try to forget the whole thing just happened).  If I can see it and I've acknowledged I know it's coming, we are good.

Bouncing Balls
Basketballs, dodge balls, slam balls and lacrosse balls.  Just don't bounce them or throw them at me and we're good.   The basal ganglia also processes time intervals between events.  I'm guessing I'm also not good with metronomes but I haven't tested the theory.  And for whatever reason, things coming at me with high speed tend to result in a giant "hells no" from my brain.  This seems silly but CrossFitters love bouncing shit and will toss a person a lacrosse ball at even the slightest provocation.

Thanks for your attention!  Feel free to ask me anything this weekend.

Generalized Dystonia with a side of Choreiform Movements and CrossFit

So, just as an aside as most people who only know me from around the gym or socially don't know that I have something called generalized dystonia.  I't's kind of like Parkinson's where its the same area of the brain (basal ganglia) and neurotransmitter (dopamine) except it's not progressive (but can "change over time") and it won't kill you (except in really rare cases, which I don't have).  It's common (third most common neurological disorder and we outnumber ALS and Huntington's Disease diagnoses combined) but not well known or really even well understood.  While I have one of the most debilitating forms of dystonia (generalized means it's from my head to my feet), most days I'm not symptomatic.  I live like I don't have a disability, which is a damn good deal.  But some days, I go from being like everyone else to a hot mess.  But, even then, I'm set up to deal with it pretty well on my own. 

On Monday, I woke up feeling like I hadn't slept at all.   I was exhausted, super grumpy and just feeling plain off.  While driving to work, I started to posture.  Great!  Just what you want at the start of the work week - a bad dystonia day.  

I postured all day long at the office.  By 3:00, I couldn't sit up in my office chair or use my keyboard or my mouse to work.  Finally, I felt my postures lessen by around 5:00 and an hour later I was okay enough that I could slowly make my way to the parking lot and then off to the gym.

Yep, the gym.  I wanted to get some video of me weightlifting while symptomatic.  As you can see, I'm actually pretty good by this point.  I look like a raging dork but, really, I'm only posturing slightly.

40kg snatch (I didn't finish my pull)

60kg clean

Kipping Muscle Up

But, check it out!  I don't display symptoms of my movement disorder when I'm doing movements I'm really familiar with.  How fucking cool is that?!?  Before and after, oh yes.  But not during.  I don't know if I've adapted (neuroplasticity) or muscle memory uses a different area of the brain - whatever it is, I'll take it.

And I'd just like to note some time frames here, too.  I developed dystonia in 2004 (tardive generalized dystonia as a result of an adverse reaction to an antidepressant). I didn't start CrossFit until 2008, and had absolutely no exposure to either weightlifting or gymnastics prior to this.  All of this stuff I learned after I developed dystonia.

My brain, while messed up, is also kind of fucking awesome. 

Lifestyle change is more than vegan eggplant lasagna or HIIT

This morning, I was listening to a CBC radio segment by Merelda Fiddler that profiled a woman pre and post bariatric surgery.  The report also included an interview with her surgeon.It’s quite interesting and I’d suggest giving the whole thing a listen.

The part that really got me thinking was the piece on what all goes into a situation where the body’s ability to regulate its energy systems becomes decidedly fuckered (notice I am refusing to make this a weight thing): 

“It’s often seen as a lifestyle disease, I guess, or a lifestyle issue…I think it’s more complicated than that, I guess is the bottom line and I don’t think we have a good handle on it. There is probably a lot of different things that contribute to people’s weight problem and we saw every sort of part of that in our clinic – whether that’s people that have to work two jobs, and they’re single parents or they’ve got a history of abuse in their past…”

How often have you come across statements like “diets don’t work” or something of that sort and then that “it’s a lifestyle change.”  And then whomever has stated this will invariably go on to talk about making a vegan eggplant lasagna from scratch from items in his or her organic garden or the benefits of HIIT or sourcing ethical seafood or whatever? 

Oooookay. 

That’s all very lovely, I am sure.  And perhaps whatever activity just noted can be included in a healthier lifestyle, yes.  But it’s not really the point.  It's not an actual change.  I will not even get into the interweb commenters that suggest one just simply move less and eat more and it’s as easy as that (fuck that interweb guy!). 

I thought I would make a list of everything that goes into it.  Or, at least, everything I’ve noted so far that’s gone into it.

1. Hormone disregulation.  This include appetite and satiety hormones, insulin (insulin resistance, diabetes) and any thyroid issues.  Basically, how is your body talking to itself and then talking to you.  This can get really messed up.
2. Other physical fun like chronic, systemic inflammation, gut disbiosis, low stomach acid or low nutrient absorption, undiagnosed food sensitivities or allergies.
3. Information literacy skills.  Pretty hard to figure out what to do and how to do it if you are challenged to  access information or don't have the ability to read, understand and develop a plan.  All while being able to ignore this festering mess.  
4. Financial resources to support purchasing higher quality foods, access to physical activities, access to mental health and counseling support, etc.
5. Ability to cook and/or ability to access information or hands-on learning opportunities to develop basic food preparation skills.  There are also significant value challenges as this takes both money and time (i.e. I am not worthy of my own time and effort.  I am taking away time from family/friends/work to care for myself.).
6. Ability to physically move (including basic mobility, strength) and the ability to access information and hands-on learning opportunities to develop basic movement patterns to support better mobility, improved strength and improved general fitness.  With this, again because it requires financial and time commitments, you also see value challenges (i.e. I am not worthy of my own time and effort.  I am taking away time from family/friends/work to care for myself.)
7. Access to and resources available for mental health services.  Dealing with…  Food as drug.  Food as comfort.  Food as friend.  Food as security.   Food often is used as a tool for self-medicating for underlying mental health issues. And mental health issues often go along with fun stuff like insulin resistance and diabetes.  The health of the body impacts the health of the mind.
8. Family and peer support.  Food and culture.  Food and food traditions.  Food and food connections with family and friends.  Building a support network is no easy feat.  Learning how to create new connections and how to navigate changing value systems with friends and family is so important.
9. Identity reconfiguration. How we live day to day shapes who we are to ourselves.  Change how you live, and you change WHO you are.  This is then reinforced when physical changes alter how the world interacts with you.  Changing your idea about yourself is a scary, scary prospect but it is also a powerful tool for fundamental change.  I'd argue, fundamental change doesn't happen if you continue to see yourself the same way.

And, the best part is all of this is all interconnected.  Take physical activity.  It’s tied not only to identity reconfiguration, it’s also tied to family and peer support.  It helps to improve mental health and insulin sensitivity.  But, if you have hormone disregulation, your body is also telling you that moving is foolish.  It’s the same for every other thread.  At some point, they all intersect. 

I don’t really think there is a service or support out there that actually addresses all of these, either.  CrossFit came pretty close, for me, and I was able to piecemeal the rest of it together with a lot of trial and error.  All the while, I was cognizant of the advantage being relatively well educated and with a high degree of information literacy as well as (at the time) in a very comfortable dual income situation.  I’m not special.  I had resources.  And, so, I think this is why it’s rare to see individuals make systemic, life-long changes in terms of how they live in a way that allows themselves the ability to heal and see their body return to some degree of functionality.  It’s rare, but it isn't impossible.  I do believe that until there are multifaceted supports in place and accessible to all, it’s going to continue to be rare, however.

I would also argue, too, that it’s very difficult for someone who hasn't lived the experience to truly get exactly what all goes into it.  

This is just fun

I felt this way about two snatches and one clean.  Thing of beauty.

Kindness. And grace.

The first year CrossFit went with the whole Open/Regionals/Games format, we were pretty excited about the fancy digs we got to compete at in Vancouver.  We had an official stadium, warm up area and athlete village.  And in that athlete village, there was a guy who brought in one of those olde-tyme-y strongman games where you took a hammer and hit a plate and, if you hit it hard enough, you'd ring a bell.  Surprising loud noises and dystonia don't mix so well. 

Chantelle, upon seeing the impact the ringing of the bell was having on me, went and asked the guy to abandon his marketing strategy.  At first, he balked at her request but after their conversation, he put the thing away for the rest of the day and the next day it wasn't at his booth, anymore.  I didn't know she was going to do this.  She just took one look at me and saw that she might be able to help.  So she did and it made my experience there immeasurably better.

 And I think that says a lot about who she was as a person.

There are a lot of nice people in this world - genuinely nice.  Throughout her battle with cancer, her friends and family rallied about her with "Shine on".  I'm not sure where it came from but I think it describes her perfectly.  Chantelle was something more than genuinely nice. Whenever I have spent time with Chantelle, I was always left being reminded of just how kind she was.  And gracious.  She was gorgeous through and through and I think the outpouring of love and prayers today just goes to show how pretty much anyone who had the chance to know her is better for it.

All my love to Blair and the kids and her extended family.  And my love to Ang and the rest of her girls who have lost a best friend.

How about?

How about instead of "Strong is the New Skinny" or "Real Women Have Curves" or "Nothing Tastes as Good as This Feels" and especially "FuckYeahThighGap" or whatever bullshit demotivational crazy we're applying to ourselves to ensure none of us feel good about how we look.

How about "Awesome is as Awesome does"?  Then go out and do something fucking awesome.  That awesome fucking thing being your choice.

"I'm going to flip this 400lb tire."  Awesome!  You go do that.
"I'm going to write a play."  Awesome!  You go do that.
"I'm going to do yoga in the park while my kids decorate a tree with yarn."  Awesome! You go do that!
Run a marathon...
Finish my thesis...
Ride a bike with my child...
Nap like a boss...

Is doing awesome things dependent on looking like this?

Or this?

 or this?

  

Or whatever limited ideal of what it is we're supposed to look like at all times because that is what is most important in life is looking like a certain way? 

No, no it was not.

So, awesome is as awesome does. Go be fucking awesome today.

Mobility Work

Three things to add into my repertoire...

One of those posts where I post advice I've given that I, upon reflection, think is pretty good.

I belong to a message board for PCOS laydeez.  Kurt used to call it "the whiny board" likely because it featured a lot of really whiny people whining about things.  Cut them some slack - most of them are on infertility treatments.  HORROR-MONES!  You try and be all emotionally awesome when you've just come back from a D&C post chemical pregnancy and are subsisting on a 1200kcal a day, low fat diet and doing Walk-Away-The-Pounds.  Yeah, thought so!

Anyways, one of them the other day posted about getting really too into calorie counting and measuring and weighing and all that shitness that we're told we should do when we try to lose weight.  And she was totally melting down.  Which, yes.  I'd say that is a totally normal and healthy response to an activity that is crazy-making.

Here's what I posted in response.  I've read it a few times, and I think I actually came up with some pretty good advice.  I find advice-giving hard these days because I'm starting to forget what it was like to be obese and all the attendant fun that went with it.  So, I'm kinda all proud of myself that I was able to part the veil of time and actually suss out something that she'll hopefully find helpful and not just rant-y.

Here goes:

"I can't count calories. I lose my mind. I've never really been able to do it and I still can't. And I was still able to lose my weight and keep it off and even adjust my intake to meet very different demands. Most people can't really count calories for very long without it ending up getting a little weird. So, in that respect, you're normal.

What I had to do was reset my hormone signalling. What's really awesome (sarcasm alert!)?  Most of us with PCOS have f'd up satiety hormone signalling. Here's a few tips to get you started. I'm guessing it's going to take a lot of time for you to sort this out and it isn't something that an easy post can just fix for you. I just wanted you to know you're not alone.

You're not weird.

And your situation isn't hopeless.

Anyways, reaching way back into my memory, here's a few thing that helped me at the very beginning. Once I got these down, then I was able to further refine and figure things out.

1. Eat protein every time you eat. Preferably something that once had eyes and a soul or came from something that had eyes and a soul.
2. Eat vegetables every time you eat. Mmm vegetables. Corn, iceburg lettuce and peas are not veggies.
3. Eat starchy carbs. Root vegetables are preferable because they're packed with nutrients that are nicely bioavailable for you. But, eat them when your body needs them. And that's usually after you've worked out.
4. Eat when you are hungry. Hungry is not bored. Hungry is not sad. Hungry is hungry. And if you're hungry, eat!
5. Enjoy the hell out of your food. Don't eat anything that you really, legitimately don't like to eat just because it's "good for you". There's lots of food that's good for you that I'm sure you also enjoy. Eat those foods instead.
6. That said, food is not a party in Vegas. If it comes in a brightly coloured box or bag and has big shouty text on it screaming at you that it's food? Likely not food. Processed stuff does super fun things to your brain and body, making it hard to enjoy real food. And also making it really tricky for you to feel full or satieted. Try to pick food that you know is food even if it doesn't have a label on it.
7. Don't watch commercials on TV. For reals. This is huge.
8. If you struggle with mindless eating at a certain time of day, every day, choose that time to do your workout. It gives you something to do and it reprograms this behaviour. Then have a good, proper meal after (protein, veggies and a starchy carb).
9. When you're eating, just eat. Ten bucks says the vast majority of your meals are eaten in front of the computer or the TV. We need to register that we've eaten. And to do that, we need to just eat when we're eating.
10. Sleep. Go to bed at the same time every night. Get up at the same time every morning. If you're tired, go to bed early. Sounds weird, but sleep is the biggest thing you can do to regulate insulin.

Eating should be eating. It shouldn't be math. Hope some of these ideas or approaches help you a little bit. "

Every post should end with a smiley face.

Navel Gazing and Whatnot

“Some days, I was just wanting to say ‘fuck it,’ but other days I felt like it was saving me.”

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. 

Earlier this week, the CrossFit Games site posted an interview with Angie Hay.  I thought it was really cool of her to talk about how going through a divorce has impacted her training and her priorities.  It's not something people really talk about.  Mostly because who wants to talk about going through a divorce.  I know, for me, I've not really been at my best physically, emotionally or spiritually over the past few years.  I've been bitchy, emotional and stressed.  I've done dumb ass shit.  I've not coped with grace or aplomb.  But who does?  IT'S A DIVORCE.  It's kind of a big deal.

And it all affects how well you do as an athlete and how you feel as a human being.  The stress, the lack of sleep, the less-than-ideal coping mechanisms people sometimes lean on (*cough* smoking *cough*)...  The lack of time, inability to focus and sheer levels of constant and ever present exhaustion.  And, most of all, feeling like an ass because you really believe you should be keeping your shit together far better than you perceive your shit to be in the middle of it all.

So, here I am in the middle of the end of the end of my marriage.  I'm no longer doing as much dumb ass shit as I was before.  I quit smoking four months ago.  I continue to be bitchy, emotional and stressed but far less so than before.  No, really.  This is less.  Trust.  And I'm not always exhausted.  So, yay?

The part that feels really, really good is the ability to set goals again.  And not because I'm a type A weirdo who needs goals - though that would be true.  Setting a goal means being able to look into the future and actually having enough of a sense of what said future will look like to actually be able to have an idea of what you want a piece of said future to look like.

I know, right!

A major part of being able to train with a purpose and getting the most out of your time and commitment to yourself as an athlete, is the ability to set goals for yourself.  And then having enough stability in your day to day life to be able to again work towards those goals in a purposeful way.  For me, divorce has meant that both the sense of my own future and my daily stability was missing for far too long.  And now that I have both of those back, I'm feeling far more confident in what I can commit to doing.

And that feels very, very good.

For Tyler

So he doesn't have to axe dechubbing off of his ever dwindling Sissy Hands blog roll.

Tonight, I kind of sucked at the gym and was cranky.  When describing my crankiness to Lexi, I may have used a different word to describe my mood.  It also starts with a "c" but is far more jaunty.  Apparently, it's normal to turn into a raging cow (also not the "c" world I used) immediately preceding a flare up of dystonia symptoms.  Considering it's been a dystonia-fest since January, I've been exceedingly super fun to be around.  This seems to be resolving itself with the help of a naturopath.  Huzzah!

Anyways, back to sucking.  I couldn't snatch 105lbs for doubles so dropped to 95lbs and even at that weight they were full snatches and not power like the WOD required.  By the 8 minute mark, they started to feel much better.  It's nice when the workout is almost done and my middle aged ass is finally ready to go. Then I ambled my way through the untimed workout, visiting during my last set of pistols, as I am not good at self-motivating unless there is some kind of possibility of winning involved.

Today also marks the beginning of my annual bitch fight with gravity.  You see, every year in the Open, an event with muscle ups is announced.  The Open is in March.  And I don't know about the one person who reads my blog (Tyler), but by the time March rolls around, I've got some quality winter chub going on.  I mean, it's not dire.   I can fit into my pants.  But everything I do is done in a 10lb home made weight vest.  That might not sound like a lot, but when you're violently flinging your now heavier self through space while dangling by two wooden rings hanging off the rafters, suddenly that 10lbs more of you means a lot.  Gravity gives not one shit that you still feel as though you look okay in your jeans.  Gravity is going to slap you and slap you hard.  Joints are going to get cranky.  Tendons are going to yell at you.  Rotator cuffs are going to go on strike. Muscle ups in March are a Herculean effort (if Hercules were to gain 10lbs and then have to do muscle ups).

So, each year I pretty much get all weird about getting my muscle up.  I fret about it.  I live off eggs, go super low carb and don't eat any salt.  There is a lot of wishing and praying to the water retention gods that they be kind and allow me to hit the magic number on the scale where all of a sudden, I can do a muscle up. I can already feel the weirdness setting in as I plot how to get at least 241 on this blasted WOD. 

My version of sports psychology as someone with dystonia...

Dear basal ganglia, 

Look, I know we haven't always seen eye to eye.  I get that sometimes you like to do your own thing.  And some days that means looking like zombie mime performing "I'm a little tea pot".  I just chalk that up to your need for unique and creative expression.  Yes, you are indeed a special snowflake. 

But you need to understand something.  And that is that there will be hell to pay if you don't knock it off by Friday.  Because we are doing the Bridge City Beat Down and, trust, you do not want to be messing around dystonia-styles when we're dangling off a damn pair of gymnastic rings.  So, have your fun.  But on Friday, those voluntary muscles are mine, bitch.

Merle!

This has nothing to do with anything but... MERLE!!!!



The prison arc is coming in October.  I'm so happy, I'm doing jumpy claps.

July 10 - Gluten Free Bagel Induced 3rd Trimester Food Baby

Sleep - 12:00 until 8:00 a.m. - Woke up feeling human.  Huzzah!  1 point

Water - 6+ sigg bottles of it - 1 point

WOD - snatches to 95lbs (sigh), yesterday's metcon of 800m row, 800m run, 200 DUs in 11:48, mobility - 1 point

Food - 3 points
chicken breast on shredded cabbage, carrots and cukes, vinagrette
2 servings pastured pork with jalapenos, peppers, onions, salsa and half an avocado
chicken breast on shredded cabbage, carrots and cukes, vinagrette
toasted gluten free bagel with almond butter (3rd trimester food baby ensued... dammit!)
fish oil, magnesium

Total: 6 points

Paleo Challenge. No sarcasm or wit. Too tired.

The gym started the paleo challenge at the beginning of the month.  I'm, uh, kind of starting a week late.  Which, well, I'm late for everything so, fitting!  I actually did start on the 2nd but in a haze of paint, moving (again) and whatnot (complaining about painting and moving and whatnot), I didn't actually write anything down and don't remember anything I ate except for a spectacular treat-y splurge at Kneaded on Saturday.  So good.  Like carrot cupcake with cream cheese  icing all over my face washed down with an americano with whipping cream followed by the rest of the day snacking on a load of cinnamon raisin bread coated liberally in almond-hazelnut butter.  That, I will remember for a good long time.  *sigh*  Okay, so, the gist is that I'm starting to write things down.  But just don't expect awesome.

Sleep - Shite.  0 points.  2:00 a.m. until 6:30.  Could not fall asleep.  Could not stay asleep.  Woke up thanks to early text message.  Yes, yes I do believe those bricks from the back patio will look fine repurposed as the front walk.  Dear sweet hell, I'm tired. Although not as I write this at 10:30 at night.  No, now I'm overtired and wide awake (see below for coffee consumption and revel at the amount of caffeine coursing through my veins).  Really, they should deduct points for this.

Food - 4 points for kinds of food, but I should have eaten something sooner, brought more food to work and not had as much coffee.
Water - 1 point. 
7:00 a.m. - Coffee, 1thingy water, fish oil, stared fixedly at wall, attempted not to drool too much
10:15 a.m - Pastured ground pork mixed with sauteed onion, bell peppers, jalapeno and salsa with half an avocado mixed in, 1 thingy water
2:30 p.m. - Coffee, 1thingy water, the other half of the avocado with some salt and pepper sprinkled on
4:00 - Looked at candies.  Wanted candies.  Did not eat candies.  Should have brought another meal.  FML. 
6:30 - Massive salad with grated cabbage, carrots, cukes and shredded chicken breast topped liberally with a vinaigrette, 1 thingy water
8:00 - 1/4 cup of almond butter on a spoon while scrubbing paint blechies off of the floor of the house.
10:00 - Another big salad of the same variety as I cook more of the spicy taco pork thing from this morning.  Variation: no. Magnesium.  More water.  Hyponatraemia imminent.

WOD - Rest Day, no points.  Still awesome.

Total: 5 points.

Today in uselessness

Four shirtless Ukrainian men performing a cover of Rammstein's Du Hast.  Of course.



I wanted to repost this Gawker find so I have it saved for random, convenient reviewing as needed. Because it brings me a great deal of joy.

RANT, RANT, RANT!!!

I miss Duckman.

I ranted on the interwebs today.  Saving said rant for posterity.

Our culture is messed up when it comes to pretty much everything. Everything from agriculture, public policy, our industrial food system, the disconnect between the biological sciences and nutrition sciences, the industrialized food complex, chain restaurants, the media and how bodies are presented, perceived and written about and consumed. You name it, we are a dysfunctional crew about it. Be thin. Thin is healthy and good. Unless you're too thin. Or don't have big boobs. Then eat a cheeseburger. OMG!!!, you're now a fat cow. And hate the environment. But don't care, you're a real woman with curves unlike all those fake women out there. Or unless you have muscles. Then you are a man and, just, eww. For the love of all that is pink, never use more than 3lb dumbbells. But carry around this heavy purse that weighs 20lbs and costs $600. Let's not make clothes larger than a size 12. Let's just make size 12 bigger. But expect women to be a size 0. Want a fat free yogurt? It's the official food of women! Unless you're vegan. Then, you're a skinny bitch! Buy, buy, buy! Consume, consume, consume! Never be good enough because so long as you're never good enough, you'll spend. So, we've made sure you can NEVER be good enough.


Piss on that.

Feeling the squats and sit ups today

Sleep - 11:30 until 7:30

Eats
 - 8:00 coffee, water, vitamin D, fish oil
 - 10:30 4 ounces roast Moroccan beast and 2/3's cup of bacon brussel sprouts
 - 11:45 10 pieces AlterEco 85 percent dark chocolate
 - 1:30 4 ounces roast Moroccan beast and 2/3's cup of bacon brussel sprouts
 - 4:00 4 ounces roast Moroccan beast and 2/3's cup of bacon brussel sprouts
 - 8:30 2  ounces roast Moroccan beast
 - cals 1839, fat 131g, cho 46g, pro 124g

Forgot my water bottle at home so I was lower on water.  Also low on the protein today.

Training
Rest day, mofos!

Made the Bacon Brussel Sprouts

Not so good as the cabbage.  But bacon does make everything better.

Sleep: 12:00  - 7:45 and okay-ish

Eats
 - 8:00 water, coffee, fish oil, vitamin D
 - 10:30 5.5 ounces sundried tomato chicken with 1 medium sized slice tomato, water
 - 1:00 same
 - 2:30 10 squares of AlterEco 85 percent dark chocolate
 - 4:30 same as the morning
 - 8:15 3/4 cup cherries while driving back from the grocery store after my workout
 - 9:00 the same for the chicken but with 2/3's cup of bacon brussel sprouts, water, magnesium
 - cals 2126, fat 124g, cho 92g, pro 172g

Training
Front squat 5's @ 145, 160, 175lbs (my old PR prior to November for 1 for 5's so woo!)
Pistols 5 unbroken each leg x 2
Kipping HSPUs 5 to 1 abmat, added 10lb plates to either side and did 3, 2 then some slow negatives to 1 plate
Metcon of 2 minutes each of lunges, toes to bar, sit ups, burpees, squats, two minute rest then squats, burpees, sit ups, toes to bar, lunges.  Did 267 and 252.  Easier going up then down.  Toes to bar were right deplorable (strung together the first 10 and then all singles).  What saved me was the squats. 
 -

No sleep! Overcaffinated!

But the caffeine is wearing off.  Boo to that.  So, tossed and turned and could not find comfy spot in what generally is a very comfy bed until 3:00 a.m.  And then I got up at 8:00 so I'm running on no sleep today.  Wired and tired, I do believe Robb Wolf referred to it as.  Except I'm more wired than tired.  Tired is coming, I'm sure.  Or maybe not since I'm also not sleep deprived most days?  We'll see.

8:30 - coffee, fish oil, vit d, water
12:30 - 6 ounces of chicken sundried tomato bake (thighs) and a cup of winter braised red cabbage with bacon, water x 2
3:30 - 5.5 ounces of chicken sundried tomato bake (thighs) and a cup of winter braised red cabbage with bacon, more water x 2
 - 8:30 5.5 ounces of chicken sundried tomato bake (thighs) and a cup of winter braised red cabbage with bacon, magnesium, more water
 - 2 squares 85 percent dark chocolate (Lindt)
 - 2166 cals, 158g fat, 41g cho, 143g pro

Really enjoying the chicken and cabbage.  Very nice!

Training
I like the look of the workouts this week.  Going to be a grinder!
 - Power Snatch 3's @ 85, 95, 100 (F only got 2)
 - Metcon of 500m row, 25 55lb kbell swings, 500m row, 25 55lb kbell swings, 500m row, 25 55lb kbell swings, 500m row in 15:04.  Slow on the transitions.
 - Mobility work with the lacrosse ball

Ps.  Taryn, I saw the shout out.  LOL!  Good luck down in Cali!

Stalking my friends on twitter

I'm not actually on twitter because new things scare me and I need to spend at least a few years doing the online version of poking said new thing with a stick until I decide to try it.  Anyways, so yes, I stalk.  And I stalked myself into a new recipe to try this evening thanks to "a" because I'm flirting will full on terminal food boredom (aside from the coconut chicken soup, which still makes me all warm and fuzzy and happy).  I'm going to get this made this afternoon along with leftovers to last at least a day or two.  Taryn's pizza in a bowl was another option but my hippie food store of choice is out of the pastured, gluten free bison sausage I can actually eat without having some sort of unhappy reaction.

Sleep - 2:00 ish until 10:00 ish.  Could not fall asleep.  Could not find comfy spot.  If I found something that felt comfy, within 5 minutes it was ALL WRONG.  Also too much coffee+Walking Dead, super fun dream-y times.  Can't remember the particulars but I remember having to kill zombies again.  Just wait until Spartacus premieres!  I'll be killing Romans, bay-bee!!!!!

Food
 - 10:30, coffee, water, fish oil, vitamin D
 - 12:30, 6 ounces roast beef, 1.25 cup cooked carrots with 2 tsp ghee
 - 1:30 3 squares 85 percent dark chocolate (Lindt)
 - 7:30, 6 ounces cooked chicken thighs with sundried tomato and fresh basil, 1 cup winter braised red cabbage with bacon
 - 9:30 5.5 ounces cooked chicken thighs with sundried tomato and fresh basil, 1 cup winter braised red cabbage with bacon, magnesium
 - 2144 cals, 154g fat, 44g cho, 141g pro

Winter Braised Red Cabbage with Bacon
Cook 500g reduced salt bacon in a very large pan until crispy.
Add 1 head of red cabbage, slivered and cored
4 tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 tbsp dried sage
1 tbsp dried thyme
Sea salt and fresh pepper to taste

Cook on the stove top, ensuring that you stir the cabbage so it doesn't burn.  Use a fairly high heat.  Cook until the cabbage is soft.  Quite yummy and it makes the house smell really good. All in all, a good experiment  and all because the east end was completely sold out of brussel sprouts, apparently.

Training
 - It's a rest day, yo!