For Tyler

So he doesn't have to axe dechubbing off of his ever dwindling Sissy Hands blog roll.

Tonight, I kind of sucked at the gym and was cranky.  When describing my crankiness to Lexi, I may have used a different word to describe my mood.  It also starts with a "c" but is far more jaunty.  Apparently, it's normal to turn into a raging cow (also not the "c" world I used) immediately preceding a flare up of dystonia symptoms.  Considering it's been a dystonia-fest since January, I've been exceedingly super fun to be around.  This seems to be resolving itself with the help of a naturopath.  Huzzah!

Anyways, back to sucking.  I couldn't snatch 105lbs for doubles so dropped to 95lbs and even at that weight they were full snatches and not power like the WOD required.  By the 8 minute mark, they started to feel much better.  It's nice when the workout is almost done and my middle aged ass is finally ready to go. Then I ambled my way through the untimed workout, visiting during my last set of pistols, as I am not good at self-motivating unless there is some kind of possibility of winning involved.

Today also marks the beginning of my annual bitch fight with gravity.  You see, every year in the Open, an event with muscle ups is announced.  The Open is in March.  And I don't know about the one person who reads my blog (Tyler), but by the time March rolls around, I've got some quality winter chub going on.  I mean, it's not dire.   I can fit into my pants.  But everything I do is done in a 10lb home made weight vest.  That might not sound like a lot, but when you're violently flinging your now heavier self through space while dangling by two wooden rings hanging off the rafters, suddenly that 10lbs more of you means a lot.  Gravity gives not one shit that you still feel as though you look okay in your jeans.  Gravity is going to slap you and slap you hard.  Joints are going to get cranky.  Tendons are going to yell at you.  Rotator cuffs are going to go on strike. Muscle ups in March are a Herculean effort (if Hercules were to gain 10lbs and then have to do muscle ups).

So, each year I pretty much get all weird about getting my muscle up.  I fret about it.  I live off eggs, go super low carb and don't eat any salt.  There is a lot of wishing and praying to the water retention gods that they be kind and allow me to hit the magic number on the scale where all of a sudden, I can do a muscle up. I can already feel the weirdness setting in as I plot how to get at least 241 on this blasted WOD.