Drivelly Goodness with a Side of Whine

I’ve managed to keep up with challenge though it has been living up to its name. After enjoying over two weeks of my dystonia raging out of control, am now starting to regain modicum of ability to control movements again. It is touch and go at present but I’m confident this weekend I should be able to get back to lifting and HIIT as well as get some meals cooked and in the freezer. I have shrunk a wee bit since I first started so, even though it hasn’t been a challenge for the records, it is still something to be proud of.

I had an opportunity to review Afterburn – it looks like an amazingly difficult program but I’m very much looking forward to tackling it for my next challenge. Tracker is holding a spring competition and will be starting next challenge in time to compete – will be very exciting to throw myself wholeheartedly into this and am expecting to kick some serious butt.

The lawsuit against my GP is moving forward. We went through mandatory mediation in early January and examination for discovery is going forward in March. It is turning into a very interesting case – I am one of the first in Canada to go forward with this type of lawsuit for this kind of reaction (tardive generalized dystonia was as a result of an undiagnosed adverse reaction to an antidepressant and would have been preventable if diagnosed earlier). A part of my feels for the doctor in question as this must be a very stressful situation but, at the same time, this is something that I strongly feel I have to do.

I think I’ve come a pretty long way since first being diagnosed but I also think I’ve got a long way to go yet in accepting this. Your life certainly changes. All of a sudden, this future idea that you have created for yourself of your life is completely up in the air. What is possible, now? What isn’t? By accepting new limitations, am I giving up? Or, do I now need to look at more of a balance so I can not just succeed in life but enjoy it? Or are the two now an irresolvable dichotomy? If I give up my plans for myself in terms of career success, can I really be happy? But can I also be happy if my ambition and my work destroy the time I now enjoy to move freely? Stress really does kick up my symptoms. So does burning the candle at both ends. I’m just very torn.