The alternate title for this post was "So not the way I wanted to raise awareness that it's the start of Dystonia Awareness Week". Heh!
After I crawled into bed last night, post Spring Fling and 5 gin and tonics, I had a moment. Earlier that night Taryn had asked me if I was going to try and figure out where I would have placed if I hadn't had a bad day with my movement disorder and it hadn't meant taking a huge hit on the first WOD. I came in dead last on that one and even though I crawled my way up on the rest of them with a second and two firsts, it wasn't enough to make up for it. I told her I didn't' want to because it would just bum me out even more.
And yeah, I'll admit it. I was bummed out. And my ego was smarting. I'm probably a bit too competitive for my own good. I don't like it when I don't do well and I REALLY don't like it when it's because of my dystonia.
Enter the gin.
My dystonia is a part of me. It's part of who I am as an athlete. I bring it with me to every competition just like I do all of my other skills, abilities, strengths and weaknesses. I did how I did based on what I bring to the table - the whole package. Figuring out where I would have placed if I had been symptom free that day would be like figuring out how I would have placed if I was a different person altogether.
Today, I sat down and sketched out my training from now until sectionals start up again next year. I took a look at my weaknesses and where I want to go and what I want to accomplish. One of those things is showing a little more grace when it comes to being a disabled athlete.
General enthusiast of sweaty activities. Cave girl foodie. This is a blog about that. And sometimes cats.
5 comments:
You have more grace than anyone I know Leya. Keep being you and keep kicking ass.
As I saw you going through the first WOD, my first thought was "Shit, she should just call it a day. She might get hurt. It's not worth it."
Sure, I'm a bit of a pussy. But I don't think anyone who knew what was happening would have faulted you for not competing. The fact that you did compete and perform so well is a testament to you as an athlete and a competitor.
I think, with the benefit of some time and perspective, you'll come to realize that what you accomplished this weekend -- and what you overcome on a daily basis -- is worth more than a Spring Fling medal.
Wow. Leya this is amazing. You have come so far when most people would have quit or made excuses. I'm so glad you're blogging...do you remember "Bungling Through Life" by Leya Moore? My dear friend, you are not a "bungler," not even after 5 gin and tonics.
I wish that I had one half of your dedication.
Members who came from CFMJ to watch the Spring Fling saw what you were working through and said 'holy shit I have NO excuse....ever'. You lit a fire in a lot of hearts that day. It was beautiful to watch.
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