Why I don't love AIs...

I thought I'd go find this and post it here as my ratio of posts about weight loss, fitness and assorted drivel about my body far exceeds most everything else on here and, frankly, that isn't really the order of importance of things in my life.

My trip report from our best vacation to date and our first trip off of an AI (and, if my bro wasn't getting married in Cuba at a megaresort the end of December, we'd never, ever go back to one)

Please note that all comments regarding Ivan the Bug are gross hyperbole. We loved our Bug and will rent from Easyway again. He was a great little car.

Day One - Skyservice, Easy Way, Cabanas La Conchita, Zamas
Direct charter flight (Skyservice) Regina to Cancun. On time, all good. Pilot lands "creatively" and we fishtail down the runway. Freaky. Plane comes to complete stop. Stopped is good. Breath sigh of relief.

Get through customs (green light), grab luggage, Kurt is snared by timeshare dude (they are like the proverbial fat kid on a smartie). Extricate husband and see Easyway dude with our name on a sign! Yay! Quick smoke, get into the car and we are off.

Pick up car at Easyway (purple Bug), are told not to smoke in car but are highly encouraged to have sex in it. Look at backseat and determine neither of us are acrobats and decide not to follow their directions. Leave rental place and turn the wrong direction and head into the hotel zone. Determine all other drivers have just been released from mental institution. Get directions, turn around and we are off!

307 is crazy. Lots of traffic. Kurt doesn't believe me when I tell him to get into the paved shoulder to let other cars pass. Escape head on collision with a cab and he learns pretty quick how to drive in Mexico. Arrive in Tulum, shaken, stirred. Get lost trying to find hotel zone. Eventually arrive at destination - Cabanas La Conchita.

La Conchita is bloody gorgeous. Room is very romantic, sand is like talcum powder and the landscaping is pretty. Ocean is that amazing colour of turqoise. We're here! We're in QRoo! Life is good! Check in, get changed and head to Zamas for supper.

Zamas is pretty and right on the beach. Kurt has chicken in a chili mole sauce. I have chicken tortillas in green tomato sauce. Both are yummy. We head back to La Conchita to fall asleep to the sound of the surf.

Day Two - La Conchita, Tulum Pueblo, Charlies, Don Cafetos
La Conchita has great breakfasts and strong coffee - heaven. Lovely! Morning is spent on the beach at La Conchita. It is situated in a cove with rocky outcroppings on either side. Azulik is to the left and other small cabana style resort to the right. The surf is pretty strong so Kurt decides to boogey board. I swim for a bit and accidentally moon a guy from Brooklyn as a wave attempts to take off my bottoms. Afternoon is spent in Tulum peublo to get money and have lunch at Charlies (excellent food and very pretty - highly recommend). While we're relaxing in the restaurant, out front we hear pops and crackles and see sparks flying everywhere. A cute little Brit girl at the table next to us freaks, thinking someone is shooting at us. Nope - the power lines are just freaking out a little. We sit for about an hour until the cops let us out of the restaurant. We aren't electrocuted. So far, it's been a good day.

Back at La Conchita, I test out the hammock and Kurt has a nap. Dinner is at Don Cafetos. The food is good but the ambiance is even better. As we're eating, a band from Cuba takes the stage and everyone gets up to dance. Lots of fun!

Day Three - Snorkelling Akumal Main Bay, Nacho's
Mmmm. Breakfast at La Conchita. Again, so very yummy. We head to the Akumal main bay to snorkel all day. We see lots of pretty fish, including two the size of platters and two really big turtles. The beach is gorgeous. Great day! Heading back to Tulum, we're nearly T-boned at the 307 intersection as the throttle sticks and we shoot into on-coming traffic. Good times! We make it back to La Conchita and hang out on the beach until supper. Throttle, again, sticks as we make a u-turn on the highway to park beside Nacho's. First, we hurtle into the jungle. Then we hurtle towards the iron shore cliff. Finally we stop. Stopped is good. Dinner is worth it. For 160 pesos a piece, we have grilled lobster. I cry as it is so yummy. Then we have bananas flambe. It is so good. This was probably the best restaurant we ate at and it was usually empty. This is a must do when you are at Tulum.

Day Four - Grand Cenote, Nachos Redux
The morning is spent relaxing on the beach at La Conchita and then we again head to Akumal main bay to snorkel some more. Again, the fish are pretty. After, we head to Grand Cenote to snorkel some more. The water is so clear. The stalagmites and stalagtites are spectacular and it is, in places, very deep. It attaches to hundreds of kilometres of underground rivers and they have diving excursions to explore them. We head back to La Conchita for some quality hammock time and then to Nachos again for throttle-sticking U-turn action and lobster.

Day Five - Mayan Beach Garden, El Placer
After our last amaxing La Conchita breakfast and a relaxing moment on the beach, we pack our gear, get into our Bug and take off south down the 307 around the Sian Kaan Biosphere. The road is one-lane with no paved shoulder but it is pretty much deserted - not a lot of traffic. Driving is nice and relaxed. Emailed directions from LG end shortly afer Limones, but we follow the signs to El Placer and, after a few military checkpoints, a jungle road and a very bumpy beach road we see Marcia (MBG owner along with her hubby Kim - so nice!) at the store. next to Mayan Beach Garden. We're here. Our car didn't die. It is beautiful! We check in and are shown to our cabana.

Mayan Beach Garden has six cabanas of cement construction, in two vertical rows facing the beach. They are staggered so, from each one, you have a gorgeous view from your patio of the turquoise water and white sand. The cabanas, themselves, are spacious and pretty with solar lights, bathroom with hand painted sink and shower with good water pressure and hand made furniture. The main building where the library, dining room and screened porch are is away from the water behind the cabanas. The beach is white sand and the bay, which is very comparable to the Akumal main bay 30 years ago, is protected by an interior reef. Dinner is eaten at a long table with all of the other guests so you really get to know the other guests. MBG provides breakfast, lunch and supper - all of which was delicious with never a bad meal. They also offer a lot of diversity so you don't get bored of the food.

After getting checked in, we take a walk down the beach. The ocean current brings with it a lot of plastic garbage dumped inot the ocean in Belize and also from the cruise ships. The bay is beautiful and empty but the beaches that front empty lots hadn't been raked in a few months so had human detrious strewn about. It was heartbreaking to see such a beautiful and natural area punished by human consuption. It made me want to grab a rake, clean the beach and then wack everyone who had ever thrown crap into the ocean over the head.

Kurt then threw on his snorkel gear and went out to check the reef. While the beaches beside MBG showed evidence of humanity, the reef and coral were pristine and vibrant and alive with life. After meeting the other guests and having a delicous dinner, we all went to bed only to be woken up at 2:00 a.m. by a magnificent thunderstorm. Lightening must have struck the ocean right out front because one clap of thunder had everyone leaping out of bed (or into bed, depending on where they were standing) in a mass freakout.

Day Six
While the thunder and lightening ended, the rain stuck around so, after breakfast, we drove to the Kohunlich ruins (500 A.D. to 1100 A.D.). In the way, one of our windshield wipers fell off but no other car trouble was experienced. The site is big and it took us almost three hours to go through it. Much of it is well preserved and impressive. The main temple features beautiful mask carvings with much of the red-coloured stucco intact. Spectacular. We were the only ones at the site, so it was pretty amazing to go through the place alone. While we were at the ballcourt, I heard rustling in the trees. Then I heard a low, gutteral growl. And then more growls. And then lots of growls. Freaked, we finished up our tour and went back to the car. Turns out it was howler monkeys! Happily, no monkey poo was thrown at us.

Most of our drive back was in the dark, which was kind of cool. While on the jungle road, we saw an ocelot (wild cat) crossing the highway. Happily, we had no car trouble 'cause I wasn't getting out to walk for help!

Day Seven
Day seven dawned hot and humid. Morning is spent on the beach and, in the afternoon Marcia walks everyone to point to go snorkelling. I found it a bit difficult, being a novice, negotiating the coral channels (I am the chicken of the sea), so I head back to do some beachcombing. Everyone returned in about an hour, save Kurt and Marcia who headed past the interior reef. My husband is crazy. One time he had to be air rescued off the side of a mountain in Banff after he decided to go climbing alone, without gear, and no training. Looking around our spot, I noticed that Marcia didn't have any stuff on the beach. She didn't need to come back here. Kurt could be out there alone! Immediately, I assume he was dead. About an hour and two panic attacks later, he wanders up the beach. I break down. Marcia had, at my request, stuck to him like glue and kept him safe. Yay! I wasn't a widow. Again, the snorkelling was amazing with bright, living coral and amazing wildlife.

Day Eight - Sian Kaan Shipwreck
We're still at Mayan Beach Garden, located outside the hamlet of El Placer, about 30 kms north of Mahahual. Marcia kindly draws us a map to locations filled with fun and adventure in the Sian Kaan. Off we go in our trusty bug (these vehicles should include WD40 and duct tape along with the spare tire in the trunk), with plans to snorkel a shipwreck. Past another army check point (big guns and they don't speak English and the only Spanish I know is from the road signs on the highway but they're friendly if not confused as to our plans) and into the Biosphere. The road turns pretty bumpy but it isn't washed out so we're feeling pretty good. Landscape turns from marshy stuff to dense tropical foliage with tall palms and the occaisional glimpse of white sand and turqoise water. The road is deserted and so is the park entrance. After about half an hour of bumping and thumping of the non-backseat variety, we see a park dude on a moped. He takes our name and whatnot and waives the park fee. We take off again and see a small fishing shack with a blue tarp roof with a shipwreck partially submerged in the ocean off to the left.

Parking in the dude's front sand dune that passes for a yard (no need for landscaping - it's pretty on it's own), we head out to find a good approach. Less garbage on the beach is noticed and we learn later that the Friends of the Carribean raked the shores clean before we came. Thanks Friends!

We find a pretty, sandy spot and Kurt gears up for a snorkel, while I start beachcombing the area and just enjoying being the only darn person on a perfect beach that stretches for miles and miles and miles and miles. Every so often, when he found a sandy spot, Kurt would stand up and let me know he was alive and keep me from repeating yesterday's abbreviated widowhood.

About an hour later, as I was floating in a tide pool, he came in raving about clown fish, angel fish, damsel fish, parrot fish, urchins, aenomes and bright, vibrant coral. Apparently, he'd stumbled into the filming of Finding Nemo II: The Akward Adolecent Years. It was the best snorkel he'd ever had. We lazed in the sun for a bit longer to dry off and I showed him my impressive abandoned conch shell collection (forced relocation program for sealife - fishermen just toss 'em on the beach after extricating the inhabitants).

With my contraband shells in tow, we take off. Now, I'm a bit uncomfortable taking them past the guys with the big, shiny guns no matter how friendly they are. So, we decide to take the beach road back, through Uevero to El Placer. This is the part of the story that we didn't tell Easyway.

To call the beach road a road at all is an insult to all other roads. Its more of a rutted path that is intermittently mixed with large deposits of coral, piles of coconuts, piles of limestone and deep, cenote-like puddles. Sometimes, there wasn't a road or path or anything at all as it had all tumbled into the sea. But our trusty bug rose to occaision, gloriously bouncing away through the jungle, the throtle, for once, behaving itself. The wildlife also joined in to make the beach "road" a special experience. Occaisionally we had to stop to move aside small turtles and hermit crabs trying out new occupations as road topes. Howler monkeys growled at us. Dogs chased us.

Finally, after about an hour of driving, we made our way to Uevero, where we promptly bombed up to the jungle road and back to Mayan Beach Garden. The rest of the afternoon was spent in a hammock reading a book (each cabana comes equipped with a lovely selection of beach reads - no need to waste your allowable weight for your luggage on books as they are provided).

Day Nine - Mahahual
Up at the crack of dawn to watch the sunrise over the ocean. Take prerequisite sunrise photo. I go get coffee and let sleeping beauty catch a few more Z's. The coffee here is really good - hot, strong and made in a French Press. It is also ready by 6:30 a.m. every day. I love Mayan Beach Garden.

After a spectacular sun rise, the sky clouded over and it got windy and a bit cool so we decided to spend the day bumming around. The morning was spent reading and visiting with some of the other guests and, in the afternoon, we decided to go to the monkey preserve just before the turn off to Mahahual. Unfortunately, the gates were closed so, stuck with nothing to do and no desire to drive very far, we headed into town. Driving in, we passed the docks to see two behemouth ships. Today was a cruise ship day. Usually, Mahahual is a sleepy little town with very few permanent buildings. Since the dock was put in, many people have come to the area to sell touristy type stuff to the shipper crowd. Since the ships were getting ready to depart, most of the cruisers were trying to find cabs back and most of the shops were being taken down. Literally. Most of them are tents and other temporary structures so, at the end of the day, all evidence of them are removed and taken back to the merchant shanty area and then set up anew the next day. We chatted with some of the folks who mentioned that business has been crazy since the hurricane. Before, they would get maybe three ships a week. Lately, they've been getting two or three a day.

We made our way back to the Bug and headed back to Mayan Beach Garden. We were chatting with another couple when someone pointed out the two huge ships sailing past our reef. It was quite a sight. Supper followed and an early evening reading in the cabana.

Day Ten - BEST DAY EVER
Morning promised to offer a perfect day and it did. This day was, literally, the best day of my life. The sky was blue, the ocean was turqoise and calm, there was a bit of a breeze and the sun was hot. The entire day was spent laying on the beach, reading books until it was time for a swim and a float in the ocean and then a quick return to the lounger for more reading and laying in the sun. Looking around the bay, aside from the few other couples staying at Mayan Beach Garden, the whole bay was deserted save a few dudes at the north end working of salvaging a small boat. 10 people on a 1.5 km stretch of sand. Amazing!

At lunch, Marcia told us to make the most of the beach as the weather was set to turn tomorrow and become cool, windy and rainy again. She also printed off information about the blizzard hitting the eastern seaboard.

Kurt took off for a snorkel in the afternoon and visibility was very good. He saw quite a few fish and rays, including a very rare fish that is hard to spot (it's fins look like wings and it can change colour to hide itself - when Kurt saw it, it was turqoise blue like the ocean). At about 3:00, we headed back to our cabana to read and lay in the hammock with a drink. We had a nice hot shower and then a delicious supper. All of the guests had been there for a while and we had gotten to know each other really well. We all laughed and visited with each other and Kim and had a great time, sharing stories about past trips and our lives at home and making fun of each other. Marcia wasn't able to eat with us as her regular cook was ill so she had to supervise the kitchen staff. She did make sure to come and visit with folks both at breakfast and lunch, though, so we had a chance to get to know her as well. They really are a very nice couple.

Day Eleven - Hunting for the Zocolo, Becan
The weather forecasters were right. The sky was clouded over and the temperature, at dawn, was a balmy 10 degees C. After a hot breakfast, hot coffee and a hot shower, we decided to take off to the Becan ruin site. Along the way, we planned to stop at a bank machine as we were running low on pesos and needed to get gas. You'd think you'd be able to find an ATM in Mahahual but the cruise ship industry has bribed the banks to keep the machines out of the town, with the only one being at the pier and not accessable to non-passengers. Marcia kindly drew up a map of Bacalar, noting that the bank machine was at the Zocolo.

Taking off in our car, now called Ivan the Bug after my 94 year old uncle Ivan who has, periodically, been on death's door since the 70's and, every time you count him out, he gets better and lives life to the fullest for another couple of years (he still golfs and went to the Roo last year for a week - amazing!). Ivan's throttle was again a bit sticky but, after the beach "road" we knew that nothing could stop him.

Arriving an hour later in Bacalar, we used the map to locate the mythic Zocolo. Now, please remember, I speak no spanish aside from saying hello, ordering food and telling you not to put rocks on the highway (there is a sign for that, seriously, I have a photo of it!). We searched that entire town and, while we saw many things including the town square that was hosting a kid's fair, we didn't see a Zocolo. Finally, we stopped across from the square and asked for directions to "the Zocolo". The lady laughed and pointed across the street. We were very embarassed. The word "zocolo" is spanish for "town square". Kurt went to use the bank machine and, all excited about actually finding the darn thing, forgot his bank card in the machine.

Off we went to Becan, which was another two hours away. Arriving at the ruins at about 1:30, we had some time to explore. There were very few people around, which was nice. The site, again, is quite old, dating from 400 A.D. to 1200 A.D. The style of the architecture was quite different from Kohunlich as it was influenced by the Rio Bec style and Kohunlich looks more like the sites in Guatemala. Everything was quite ornate, which much carving.

After a few hours of poking around, we decided to head back so we wouldn't be driving in the dark. Arriving just in time for supper, we sat down, met a few new people who had arrived in our absence and, now feeling like family, spent the supper debating politics with Kim, to the consternation of the other guests.

Day Twelve - Akumal
I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay. It felt like our trip was over and we were only going as far as Akumal. As we were packing up, I couldn't find the key. Kurt said he had left it on the breakfast table. As we were packing up the car, I told him to go get it and give it to Kim but he was all lazy and didn't want to check so he told me he had already turned it in.

Before leaving the area, we stopped one last time at the wildlife preserve. They were open so we got to see a variety of different creatures (spidermonkeys, a badgerish dude called the Fonz, wild boars, a hawk and an alligator) that were all once pets but are now being integreated back to the wild (who on this Earth would EVER think a badger would make a good pet? - yeah, he's sweet and cute and friendly but it's still a badger). It all runs on donations, so make sure you have something to give.

Sad, we got into the Bug and drove back to Akumal. The trip was quiet and uneventful. Pulling up to the arches was good, though, as I really love the area. Seeing lots of people and cars and everything was a bit shocking as we'd just spent the last seven days on what felt like a deserted island paradise. We checked into Vista Del Mar and Kurt turned on the TV.

*sigh*

I swear, TV is like crack. You know it isn't good for you. But you still crave it even though it doesn't really make you feel good and it would be much preferable to live your life not as a crack head. So I turned the darn thing off and we headed down to the beach.

Kurt decided to head out for a quick snorkel as the bay was pretty calm. He said that it was very pretty and there were many fish but it was sad to see the coral so damaged and the sea fans broken. It was pretty cool so we decided to head back to our room to change and go for something to eat. We made our way to La Buena Vida for a plate of very yummy tortillas and fixings. After eating, we headed back to our room to watch TV (arg!) and fall asleep.

As we were getting ready for bed, I opened up the suitcase and found... they key.

A key isn't a big deal right? Actually the darn thing is attached to a custom hand carved block of wood. For the next three days, I run around all over trying to find a way to get it back to Mayan Beach Garden. It makes up for my decision to take the beach road back from Sian Kaan.

Day Thirteen - Yal Ku Lagoon, Pink Party
Finally, the weather decided to return to normal and, while it was a bit cooler than average, it was a great day. While the rooms at Vista Del Mar are rather economical in scope and price, you really can't beat the view from the 3rd floor. The sunrise was gorgeous and our self-brewed coffee was quite tasty (I actually brought my coffee grinder and gourmet beans from home - crazy, I know). We quickly got showered and dressed in bathing suits and went to Turtle Bay Cafe for breakfast.

So. Darn. Good.

After our food (Kurt had the french toast with pecan maple syrup and I had the Ranchero Omelette - yum), we went to YAL Ku lagoon to snorkel. It was really pretty and there is an amazing variety of fish but, on the day we went, the clarity wasn't great. Still, I saw all manner of fish (so pretty), including parrot fish, a huge school of little white fish and two baracuda.

After, we headed to the main bay in Akumal to spend the rest of the day relaxing on the beach and laying in the warm sun.

At about 3:30, we headed back to the room to shower and make our way to the Pink Party. I was wearing this ridiculous skirt that kept blowing open so we weren't there long before I went back to change out of the only pink item I owned. The party was quite fun and it was great meeting so many posters as well as Kay and Gary!

We then took off to Cuevo Pescadore (I just butchered the spelling) for our only not good meal of our trip. It was kind of dissapointing. C'est la vie!

Day Fourteen - Shopping in Akumal, Charlies in Tulum
Our last day in paradise dawns hot and humid and otherwise perfect. After coffee and a shower, we go to Turtle Bay Cafe again for breakfast and spend the morning running around after that darn key (as well as buying gifts for folks). There is no courier in Akumal. Also, the mail office at the CEA closes at 9:30. Also, very few people mail stuff there as few people knew where to find the post office.

Oh, when in Akumal, check out Oshun. The jewelry is all handmade by the owner and her husband and they are artists (when there, look up and see her conch shell chandelier - gorgeous!). The pieces are beautiful and one of a kind. She will also make custom pieces if you ask (I requested a turqoise pendant to match a bracelet that I bought from her). I also thought that the prices were very reasonable and she has pieces in every price range.

The afternoon was spent on the beach, relaxing and enjoying our last warm weather and sunshine until May or June (whenever summer decides to appear). Kurt decided to go for a snorkel without me and promised to go with me later. He took off into the water and I watched him for a bit until I lost sight of him as a large group of people walked in front of my line of sight. After they moved on, he was gone. What I didn't realize until later was that he was fighting to keep being sucked out to sea by a rip current (he scoffed at the flag until a wave smashed him down to the sea floor, which was about 15 feet deep...). Luckily, he had read up on them and kept his head and swam at an angle and, with each succesive wave gained a few feet more than he was sucked out). It took him half an hour to make it back and ended up pulling a leg muscle. Its a good thing that the rip current wasn't a bit stronger or the floor a bit shallower or he would have been killed. He decided not to tell me about this until we had eaten supper...

After he got back, we layed on the beach a bit longer and then showered and changed and headed south on the 307 one last time to go to Charlie's in Tulum pueblo for supper. The food was great and was all washed down with a side of rightous anger on my part that he had almost killed himself.

Day Fifteen
The day we flew out was rainy and humid but warm. We packed up, feeling melacholy that we had to go home. We had one last breakfast at Turtle Bay Cafe and then headed North on the 307 towards Cancun. Traffic was backed up as there was a big accident outside of Xpu-Ha involving a Copacabana bus. Hopefully no one was hurt but I'm doubtful as it looked awful. It started raining hard just outside of Cancun but we managed to get Ivan filled with gas and back to Easyway, minus a windshield wiper, still featuring a sticky throttle but otherwise unscathed. The odometer noted that we'd put on 2300 kms... Happily, the rain washed off all the dirt, mud and gunk and Ivan actually looked almost spiffy as we turned him in.

Easyway dropped us at the airport where we were delayed for about an hour by the rain and the President of Mexico departing the airport.

The flight was uneventful and we landed in Regina, which was enjoying -46 C weather, including the windchill. We weren't flagged at customs (they need to do the red light, green light game - so much more fun than being assigned a code).

It really was a fantastic trip and I can't wait to go back! With all that we saw and did, there is so much more to explore in the area.